Positive Values

Make Your Dreams a Reality

Don’t you have dreams, visions or plans about things you’d love to have or accomplish? Having the dream is the easy part. Making it a reality can be more challenging. However, the good news is that there are proven techniques that can get you from where you are to where you want to be.

Follow this process to bring your dreams to fruition:

1. Turn your dream into a goal. When you have a goal, you have a true target. For a greater chance of success, your plan should have a deadline and it must be measureable.

* It has been said that dreams are goals without a deadline. Give yourself the gift of setting a deadline and things will start to happen.

* You want your goal to be measurable because, if you can’t measure it, how will you know when you’ve succeeded?

* For example, this goal is measurable and has a deadline: “On or before June 1, I will weigh 150 lbs. or less.”

* Make your goal as desirable as possible without being unrealistic. If you feel that your goal is unreasonable, it’s much more difficult to encourage yourself to actually pursue it.

2. Prioritize your goal daily. Read and write your goal each day.

* You give instructions to your brain thousands of times a day. Let your mind know that your goal is something more important than, “I feel like eating a ham sandwich,” or “I need to stop at the grocery store on the way home.”

3. Make a list of negative associations. You probably have negative associations with achieving your goal; otherwise you’d already have it. So make a list of all the negative stuff that pops into your mind when you think about achieving your goal.

* Examine that list and think of ways to work around those challenges.

* Each time you notice a new negative association with your goal, add it to your list. Things will tend to change over time, and new challenges will reveal themselves.

4. Make a list of all the positives about reaching your goal. How would it make you feel? How would it change your life? How would it change your perspective of the world and yourself? What would your next goal be?

* Make your goal as attractive as possible. Envision your life after achieving the goal. This will help to keep your motivation levels high.

5. What do you need to make your goal a reality? Do you need to special license? Do you need a laptop? Is there some knowledge you must acquire? Make a list of what you need and figure out how you’re going to get it.

6. Catalog your available resources. Who do you know that could be helpful? What expertise or items do you need that someone else might have?

* Achieving difficult goals can rarely be accomplished alone; you’re likely to need some help and guidance. Look at the list you made in step 5 and see what you already have in your life that could help you on your path.

7. Track your progress. Measure your progress each day.

* Tracking is critical to making continued progress. You can only adjust your approach if you know how you’re doing. Consider making a chart if that’s applicable to your goal.

In many ways, working toward a goal is like baking a cake: if you follow the recipe, you’ll always pull a perfect cake out of the oven. Likewise, if you follow the above steps, you’ll find it much easier to achieve your dreams.

Listening Skills

Do you experience confusing or disappointing miscommunications? Perhaps you can benefit from sharpening your listening skills.

Listening is an important part of the communication process, but it’s not given the attention it deserves.

Implement these strategies to strengthen your listening skills:

1. When someone is talking to you, be fully immersed in the conversation. Because most of us can’t do two tasks at once (or at least do them well), stop what you’re doing when another person speaks to you.

* If you’re unable to pause what you’re doing, let the person know. Ask the communicator to stop speaking for a bit, and mention briefly why you’re asking them to wait.

* Say something like, “Can you wait just a minute? I’m adding up these figures. As soon as I’m finished, I can listen to you.”

* Avoid attempting to communicate with others while watching television or playing games because these distractions will hamper your efforts to listen carefully.

2. Body language is integral to listening. As soon as you’re ready to listen, turn your body toward the communicator.

* Leaning toward the person who’s speaking also demonstrates that you’re paying attention to the speaker’s every word.

* Refrain from performing tasks that require you to turn your body away from the speaker, for example, doing dishes.

3. Make and maintain eye contact with the speaker. In most western cultures, eye contact sends the message, “I hear you. I’m listening.”

* Furthermore, holding eye contact with the speaker says, “You have all of my attention at this moment.”

* Be aware that the meaning and impact of eye contact varies from culture to culture. So, if you’re involved with cultures other than your native culture, it’s recommended to learn about that particular culture’s view of eye contact.

4. Focus your thoughts on the person’s words. Refrain from trying to think about how you want to respond while the person is speaking.

* Your goal in listening is to grasp what the speaker is trying to get across to you.

5. Share with the person what you just understood him to say. When the speaker ceases talking, take the opportunity to check out what you heard.

* Try stating aloud back to the communicator what you believe you heard.

* Here’s an example: “So, you can’t pick up the kids after school today because you have a dental appointment at 3:00 p.m. You want me to pick them up, right?”

6. Let the speaker clarify. As the listener, stating what you heard allows the speaker to correct or clarify his remarks. The speaker then hopefully replies something like, “Yes, that’s right. Can you do it?” or “No, I’m not talking about today, I’m asking you to pick up the kids tomorrow because of my dental appointment.”

7. If you’re in a relationship, listening skills are important building blocks to strengthen the relationship.

* A common complaint of people in partner relationships is, “My partner doesn’t listen to me.”

* Because partners communicate daily, it’s easy to slack off using these skills at home.

* Even so, partners can apply the above suggestions on sharpening listening skills to enhance their communication with each other.

When you understand what you’re being told or asked, effective listening has taken place. If you believe you could benefit by focusing more on people who are speaking to you, you aren’t alone.

Strive to strengthen your listening skills. You’ll be a better communicator and your relationships with others will thrive!

Three Steps to Great Success

We are given the power to think and choose our own fate. The problem is that not a lot of people realize this and as a result, they refuse to do anything to change the circumstances that they are in.

It is common to see unhappy employees sitting at their desk, doing the job they hate. In fact, they have probably been in that state for the last five years and have done nothing about it. There are also stay at home moms taking charge of their home who find themselves unfulfilled and lonely after dropping their kids in school, and wish they had something meaningful to do that will delight them and make them proud of themselves. These groups of people have one thing in common: they are afraid of making a big change in their life. So this leaves them exactly the way they are- unhappy, unfulfilled, and unsuccessful.

The one thing people should be very well aware of is that YOU have the power to change things, to change your life. And to a large extent, whatever is going on in your life right now is a result of your own efforts (or the lack of it).

So, if you are ready to make a brand new start and work your way towards a more rewarding future, there are three steps you need to go through.

Step 1: Change your mindset.

It all starts with your way of thinking. If you are always thinking negative thoughts, you will only be inviting negative things to come your way- depression, loneliness, emotional pain, and more. Develop a winning mindset by making a conscious decision to attain the change you seek. Stop making excuses, and instead clearly put in your head what it is you want using vivid visual images of how you see yourself in the future. When you do this constantly, you will change your mindset for the better.

Step 2: Change your attitude.

When you always tell yourself “you can’t do this” and “you can’t do that,” you can bet your bottom dollar that you really will not be able to do it. You have to have a positive attitude by being a “can-do” person and not someone who turns down offers because he thinks there is no way he can do that. Again, excuses and more excuses. To become successful, a high level of positive thinking, self-confidence, and perseverance is necessary.

Step 3: Make that change.

You have changed your mindset and your attitude, now you need to step up and change things. If you do not like your job now, talk to your supervisor about your problem and see if something can be done about it. If they tell you that there are skills you lack, then do something to remedy this. Hone your skills or learn new ones; do not wait for them to provide you with opportunities- you have to be the one to initiate it.
There are people who are successful in personal and career aspects; these are the kind of people who have developed the right mindset, a positive attitude, and the courage to change the way things are so that they can have a brighter, and more satisfying future. You should be that kind of person.