Positive Steps

Want a Happy Marriage?

A long, successful, happy marriage is the goal of every bride and groom. However, a happy marriage doesn’t just happen: it must be created and nurtured. It takes a bit of work and it never hurts to discover some wonderful ways to enhance your marital relationship.

The following suggestions are the perfect opportunity to refresh your happy marriage toolbox. There might be a few secrets for a happy marriage that you haven’t tried yet. Hopefully, these ideas won’t be secrets for long.

1. Make brief contact with your spouse throughout the day. It takes only a few seconds to let your partner know you’re thinking of them.

* Place a two or three minute call to your spouse during your morning break.

* Send a text message. Text messages are particularly fun because you can make a statement, ask a question, or make a plan simply by tapping in a quick message. For example, you could text, “Can’t wait to get home tonight,” “I’m cooking your favorite for dinner,” or “I love you!”

* Send a quick email to just say “Hi.”

2. Provide your spouse with something to look forward to. Whether it’s this weekend’s activities or a favorite dinner, talk about what you’ve planned just for your partner. It’s incredibly enjoyable for both of you when you take the time to think about what they would like and then make it happen.

3. Occasional surprises work wonders. For example, plan a surprise weekend getaway, a romantic dinner at home, or flowers just to say, “I love you.”

4. Make your relationship fun. An important aspect of lasting relationships is the capacity to enjoy each other’s company.

* Be silly, tell jokes, and use self-deprecating humor once in a while. Have fun when you’re around each other.

5. Talk about plans for activities you both want to do in the future. Sharing ideas and setting goals together bring you closer together and ensure you stay there – together.

* It’s especially fun to plan to go out to lunch on Saturday to make decisions about your vacation plans and figure out together what you want to do.

6. Create a special time each day when it’s just the two of you, really relating together. It could be that after work, the two of you prepare dinner together. Or when you sit down at the table to eat, you both are consciously present that “this” is your special time.

* Go for a walk together in the evening or listen to your favorite music after dinner.

* Daily responsibilities may make every day difficult, but connect with your spouse often.

7. Be adventurous in your relationship. Learn something new together. When you have adventure, your relationship feels fresh and exciting. Try these ideas or develop your own based on your mutual interests:

* Take a ballroom, hip-hop, or country-western dancing class.

* Go vegan for a week.

* Attend a lecture on “How to Win Friends and Influence People.”

* Change your appearance from time to time, just to make it interesting. Get a new haircut or color. Wear a different style of clothing.

Couples who truly focus on their marriage have their own secrets to their relationships’ success. Surprising your spouse, creating special time together in each day and being adventurous in your relationship are some fantastic secrets to keep your passions alive. Strive to make your marriage the happiest that it can be.

Work at Home Tips

Use these 7 work at home tips to help you decide if working out of your house is right for you.

Working from home comes with its own set of benefits, distractions, and frustrations that are quite different from those you find in the regular workplace.

Can you really work at home and achieve your career goals? The answer is up to you!

These thoughtful questions and informative tips can guide you toward successfully working at home:

1. Where can you devote space in your home to your work? Although it doesn’t have to be a whole room, you’ll need a desk and a couple of drawers designated for your work.

* A small storage cabinet will also come in handy for supplies and work-related documents.

* Consider the spaces in your home that are currently not often used. Maybe a guest bedroom or den could double as your place to work if you make a few changes.

2. Do you possess a strong work ethic and personal responsibility? If you’re able to set a time to start working in your home office and follow through with it, then you’re one more step closer to being successful in working at home.

* When you work from home, no one is watching over you.

* You don’t have someone 10 feet from you whom you can consult with or ask a question.

* However, if you’re responsible and self-motivated, you can do it.

3. Are others in your home during the workday that might cause distractions? Talking with your loved ones about working from home is important to your success. Get a commitment from them to support you in your endeavor to help reduce interruptions while you’re working.

4. Can you screen out other distractions? Neighborhood kids playing outdoors, noisy cars passing by and telephones ringing could all serve to sabotage your work success. If you can close your door and ignore these events, success will come easier for you.

5. Can you stay focused and on task while working at home? Due to the remarkable technology we all have available to us, it’s easier to lose your concentration on work-related tasks.

* You can waste valuable work time through repeated checking of email, social networking sites, and text messages during the day. For better concentration and greater productivity, refrain from these activities while working (unless you need to check emails for your work).

6. Consider drawing up a structured schedule. Depending on the type of work you do, it’s helpful to have a schedule that reflects what you’re working on and how long you want to spend on each task.

7. In the event your work involves prolonged sitting, build time for daily scheduled exercise. A healthy body and mind are also important to success. It’s wise to get some physical activity each day.

* A 30-minute time slot before lunch, for example, is a great time to take a walk, do some calisthenics, or complete an exercise DVD.

* If you’re an early riser, consider getting your exercise out of the way first thing in the morning. You’ll begin your work-at-home day with enthusiasm and be truly ready to sit down and focus.

People just like you all over the world accomplish working at home successfully. Using these 7 work at home tips along with careful planning, personal responsibility, and the ability to screen out distractions, you’ll find working at home to be rewarding and liberating.

Listening Skills

Do you experience confusing or disappointing miscommunications? Perhaps you can benefit from sharpening your listening skills.

Listening is an important part of the communication process, but it’s not given the attention it deserves.

Implement these strategies to strengthen your listening skills:

1. When someone is talking to you, be fully immersed in the conversation. Because most of us can’t do two tasks at once (or at least do them well), stop what you’re doing when another person speaks to you.

* If you’re unable to pause what you’re doing, let the person know. Ask the communicator to stop speaking for a bit, and mention briefly why you’re asking them to wait.

* Say something like, “Can you wait just a minute? I’m adding up these figures. As soon as I’m finished, I can listen to you.”

* Avoid attempting to communicate with others while watching television or playing games because these distractions will hamper your efforts to listen carefully.

2. Body language is integral to listening. As soon as you’re ready to listen, turn your body toward the communicator.

* Leaning toward the person who’s speaking also demonstrates that you’re paying attention to the speaker’s every word.

* Refrain from performing tasks that require you to turn your body away from the speaker, for example, doing dishes.

3. Make and maintain eye contact with the speaker. In most western cultures, eye contact sends the message, “I hear you. I’m listening.”

* Furthermore, holding eye contact with the speaker says, “You have all of my attention at this moment.”

* Be aware that the meaning and impact of eye contact varies from culture to culture. So, if you’re involved with cultures other than your native culture, it’s recommended to learn about that particular culture’s view of eye contact.

4. Focus your thoughts on the person’s words. Refrain from trying to think about how you want to respond while the person is speaking.

* Your goal in listening is to grasp what the speaker is trying to get across to you.

5. Share with the person what you just understood him to say. When the speaker ceases talking, take the opportunity to check out what you heard.

* Try stating aloud back to the communicator what you believe you heard.

* Here’s an example: “So, you can’t pick up the kids after school today because you have a dental appointment at 3:00 p.m. You want me to pick them up, right?”

6. Let the speaker clarify. As the listener, stating what you heard allows the speaker to correct or clarify his remarks. The speaker then hopefully replies something like, “Yes, that’s right. Can you do it?” or “No, I’m not talking about today, I’m asking you to pick up the kids tomorrow because of my dental appointment.”

7. If you’re in a relationship, listening skills are important building blocks to strengthen the relationship.

* A common complaint of people in partner relationships is, “My partner doesn’t listen to me.”

* Because partners communicate daily, it’s easy to slack off using these skills at home.

* Even so, partners can apply the above suggestions on sharpening listening skills to enhance their communication with each other.

When you understand what you’re being told or asked, effective listening has taken place. If you believe you could benefit by focusing more on people who are speaking to you, you aren’t alone.

Strive to strengthen your listening skills. You’ll be a better communicator and your relationships with others will thrive!