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No Family is Perfect

Families are complex and all of us are bound to experience some negative emotions from things that happened as we were growing up.

No family is perfect, and although your parents might have made every effort to ensure you a safe and happy childhood, unanticipated events occur that might have been out of your parents’ control at the time.

As a result, you might have developed feelings of sadness, disappointment, fears, and even hurt about your early years.

You’ve most likely heard the expression about carrying around “old baggage” with you. Baggage is an expression used when referring to unpleasant emotions and feelings we “carry” throughout our lives, unless, of course, we do something to let go of that baggage. Letting go of old family hurts is critical to living the life you deserve.

Following these steps can help free you from the limitations of your baggage:

1. Write a list of what you feel hurt or disappointed about. Your list might be quite lengthy or it might be brief with just one or two items. Whichever the case, recording what you feel hurt about will help clarify what it is that’s bugging you.

2. Go more in depth about each issue you listed. Specific to each item on your list, record how you felt at the time and how you feel now about the situation. The writing process will help you explore your feelings and identify how you truly feel about the past event.

* Upon completing this exercise, you may discover that you aren’t as upset now about an incident as you once were and realize that you can give yourself permission to let it go.

3. Recognize how this baggage is affecting you now. The way you handle many aspects of your life today could be related to things that happened in your past.

* Do you avoid getting too emotionally close to others for fear of being hurt?
* Do you jump in to relationships too quickly – only to find the other person not to be someone you would normally like to spend time with?
* Maybe you allow your anger to wear away at your close, loving relationships.
* Whatever it is, try to connect past incidents with what you’re doing now to express the negative emotions from those events.

4. Know that you’re worth living a life without the old hurt. You deserve to have a life unfettered by wounds from your past.

5. Make a decision to let go. Tell yourself you’ll no longer be affected by something that happened so long ago. You might want to try these ways to help you let go:

* You could write your old hurts on small snippets of paper and put them in balloons. Then, blow up the balloons, take them outdoors, and let them go. As they float away, imagine your pain floating away, too.

* Another way to let go is to write them down on paper and burn the paper. As you watch your writings safely burn in your fireplace or a barbecue grill outdoors, visualize those hurts being burned up and disappearing from your life forever.

6. From your adult viewpoint, you may now understand what happened. Once you clarify the event, consciously tell yourself that you now understand what occurred and why or how it happened. You’ve gained some insight into the issue. Now you can leave it in the past.

7. Commend yourself for your efforts to let go of your emotional baggage. After all, it weighed you down for quite some time. Now you’re free of it. Praise yourself for an important job well done.

You can let go of old family hurts by following these steps. You’ll feel so much better when you release the painful feelings you’ve had for some time. Create the life you so deserve by banishing the past to where it belongs – in the past.

Looking for Your Life Purpose?

Do you ever wonder why you’re here? After all, you were created with a unique set of passions and talents that no one else in the world can duplicate! Discovering your purpose in life lets you use your unique assortment of feelings and abilities to bring you greater self-fulfillment.

When you’re doing what you feel like you must have been born to do, you can create a life you enjoy through and through. Your goals will have more meaning to you and challenges will be naturally easier to overcome as you joyfully move toward achieving those goals.

This process for finding your life purpose enables you to tune in to your inner self and figure out what makes you tick. Take the time to find your purpose – your life will certainly change for the better!

Prepare Yourself

For this process, an open mind is optional, but helpful. It doesn’t matter if you don’t think this will work – it just means it might take a little longer. All you really must have are a piece of paper, something to write with, and approximately an hour of peace and quiet.

As you’re doing this exercise, try to empty your mind as much as possible. The clearer your mind is, the quicker and easier the process will be. Also, do this while you’re relaxed, alone, and unlikely to be disturbed.

The Process

1. Focus on your intention. Write at the top of your paper: “This is my life purpose.” This simple act sets your intention in your mind for the next hour.

2. Begin listing your thoughts – even doubts about this process. As you clear your mind and focus on this process, write whatever comes to mind, no matter what it is. If you think to yourself, “This isn’t going to work,” then you would write, “This isn’t going to work.”

3. Brainstorm. Answering these questions will get you started. Then keep writing your thoughts until you find your life purpose.

* What are your talents and abilities?
* Which talents would you like to develop further? Why?
* What are your passions?
* Do you get joy from helping others? Who?
* Have you always wanted to be a philanthropist?
* What activities do you enjoy?
* What have you always wanted to do, but you haven’t done it yet?
* Who do you most enjoy being around? Adults? Children? Why?
* Do you love animals?
* Do you like to travel?
* Do you want more excitement in your life?
* What are your favorite books or movies? Why?
* How do you feel about your relationships?
* Do you take an interest in politics or world matters?
* What is your most important priority in your life? Family? Work? Something else?

4. How will you know? You’ll just know. It will be the answer that fills you with the most emotion. You may even cry. The idea will resonate with you completely, and there won’t be any doubt. Just continue writing whatever comes into your mind until you reach that point.

* Commonly, answers will repeat themselves. A lot of unrelated nonsense is also likely to come out. Our brains can be a little cluttered, and this exercise will expose that fact. Don’t let anything you write distract you from your intentions; odd things quite frequently end up on the paper.

* There will be several answers along the path that feel pretty good to you, but remember, you’re looking for the big one. When you see the ones that are good, but not “it,” this means you’re close, but not quite on target yet.

* You’re looking for that one idea that feels overwhelming to you. In this exercise, it’s common for your life purpose to reveal itself in less than 100 ideas, but it can take as many as 400. Keep writing.

How Can I Apply My Life Purpose to Benefit Me?

Now that you’ve discovered your purpose, always try to honor it. To do so, keep it in mind consistently. Ask yourself, “Is this in alignment with my ultimate purpose?” A life lived like this, with direction and intentionality, is a life you can truly enjoy.

So don’t wait any longer; schedule a time to do this when you know you’ll have some peace and quiet. Knowing the core reason you’re here is one of the greatest gifts you could ever give yourself.

Arnold Bennett Quote

Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts. – Arnold Bennett

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